Memorial Day 2009

This weekend was the 4th annual (5th annual???) CEM Memorial Day camping trip. We went up to Wikkiup Reservoir this year and we all had a great time. Most of us got there Friday, a couple of die-hards went up Thursday evening to save our spot though.
Here's what we did:
we relaxed and ate junk food.

We drank cheap beer.

We sat by the campfire.

We read books.

Some of us talked on our phones (only to tell others where we were....)

We drove through snow and mud and sunshine to see fun places.

All in all it was a great weekend with great friends. I'm so glad we were all able to make it, and I am already looking forward to next year! Maybe then we'll actually take our boat out and do some fishing! (Note: there was serious fishing going on, it just wasn't done by Brandon or I this time-bummer).

Here we are, the CEM crew!

sometimes...

even when life seems not so great....

there are still moments when we know life is great. These moments remind us of all the positives we have in our life. All the things that are going right, all of the treasures we have-including our family, our friends, our God, our love, and our health.

Yesterday I lost my job. As of now I do not have a teaching position for the 09/10 school year.

I cried. I wondered why?

However, I was also hugged and consoled, and told how important I am and how special I am to the South Shore community. I was hugged and loved by my family and my husband. I was hugged and loved by my students (even though they didn't know!ha ha). I have a wonderful family, I have my God, I have a wonderful house, good health, great friends and stability. I have the HOPE that I will be back next year, in my same classroom teaching the same grade level. Hope, and love, and lots of positives.

fresh air and sunshine

Have you ever washed and folded an entire load of construction orange t-shirts and sweatshirts? Have you ever emptied your husbands coat pockets and found about 200 .22 bullets and 10 zip ties???
Have you ever went in your backyard and found old construction road signs? (like the HUGE green ones?)
Is your garage filled to the brim with construction tools?
Do you see work boots in every corner?
Is your car filled with teacher stuff (and garbage?)?
Do you have kindergarten papers in your bag to look at?
Sometimes I feel like there is so much going on in my life... and I just need a break. And then I remember, thank the Lord, I remember that I am only given what I can handle. Brandon and I together are given what we can handle.
There are moments in the midst of all the craziness where I am home alone. I can take a walk. I can take a bath. I can take a deep breath.
I think I need to be busy to fully enjoy the evenings where I am home alone with Duke. Where I can open the windows wide open and crank my music and fold laundry, take a bath, walk the dog, wash clothes, wipe down the kitchen counters and water plants. Where I can think about my day(I don't usually think about it once I leave my room). I can make lists of what to do, who to call, who to write, where to go, projects to finish or start or work one. I can organize and rearrange.
The past couple of months have been crazy. We have gone home, I have gone home by myself, Brandon went to Central Oregon (Burns....), we have torn out our yard, replanted our yard. We have built garden beds, planted our garden beds, put in a patio around the garden beds, installed underground water systems, helped friends do all of the above, potted flowers, and fixed gates and fences. We have celebrated birthdays, marriages, engagements, and prayed through illness. We have spent time with family and friends and strangers. We have thanked friends for their generosity and been generous with our friends.
A few things are keeping us going. 1. Each other. Brandon and I talk and laugh and cry with each other and keep each other in check. 2. Our family. they listen to us as we 'complain' and celebrated with us when we succeed. 3. God. He has listened to me give thanks and ask for help and guidance. 4. Knowledge. I know I only have 1 month left of this craziness. Only 16 school days (I think???) of little fingers grabbing for my hands, chubby arms reaching around my legs for hugs, loud voices asking for help and asking for praise and discovering new things, piles of paperwork, hours of meetings, and lots of things to sort through. I know this too shall pass and I can do it. It will be sad to see it go, but it will be nice to recharge and {hopefully} return rested and ready in August.
We can do this, and it will be good.

Going home.

I love the flatbed pickups.
I love seeing the spare tires on the cabs and on the fronts of pickups.
I love the open feeling.
I love the big sky.
I love the empty roads.
I love the smell of pine trees, sage brush, fresh rain on dirt and irrigation water.
I love alfalfa fields.
I love the sound of the irrigation on the alfalfa fields.
I love how my heart fills up when I drive east.
I love how I feel like I am getting a big hug from the landscape.
I love the mountains, and how they look blue.
I love that people wave when they pass you, even if they don't know you.
I love knowing the back roads and where people live.
I love seeing people I know, and having them know me too.
I love the old barns, homesteads, and fences.
I love the cows.
I love the dry land.
I love the cowboy boots and worn sun-tanned skin on family and friends.
I love how time slows down... even when you're in a rush.
I love seeing family and friends.
I love laughing at old stories and dreaming of the future.
I love going home.

So much has been happening lately! We have been so busy, but so happy to be busy.
The weekend before Easter Brandon, Luke, and I all worked on putting our raised beds in so that we can have a garden this year. We used recycled lumber and made four big beds. Brandon dug trenches and was able to plumb the beds into the underground watering system so that watering the garden is simple.
Easter weekend my parents came down and my dad and Brandon worked on getting the rest of the backyard on the water system. That was an all day project, but it will be so nice this summer to not have to move sprinklers around. It will just water on it's own!
Meanwhile, my mom and I searched for a good garden center (and found one!) and also looked for new dining room chairs. This has been something I have been doing for a year now. I did find two, and got a GREAT deal on them. Now I am working on painting them so I can put them around our table. I still need to find about 4 more.... the project never ends!
This past weekend Brandon, Luke, Matt, Matt's girlfriend Jenni and I worked on laying patio pavers around our new raised beds. We started at 8am and nobody left until 9pm that night, we worked so hard! But it is mostly done... just a few little things to do. Sunday morning we got up at 6am and did a few things around our yard before heading down to Eugene to work on Jenni's patio, laying the same pavers that we used. We worked REALLY hard all day, not leaving until 7pm. We have been so busy, but we have gotten so much done!
This weekend I am headed to Hermiston Friday night to see two or three of my bestest Hermiston friends and then to Heppner Saturday for a bridal shower for another friend. I am going by myself... which won't be a fun drive but I am kinda looking forward to it. I can listen to my own music, sing out loud, call friends and then stay up late with my girlfriends catching up on stories. I am so looking forward to laughing, telling stories, laughing, listening to stories, maybe some crying, and hugging my friends. I miss them so much. We are going to have so much fun!
Maybe the following weekend Brandon and I will take some time to rest... but I doubt it.

Into each day put equal parts of faith, patience, courage, work, hope, fidelity, liberality, kindness, rest, prayer, meditation, and one well elected solution.

Put in about one teaspoonful of good spirits, a dash of fun, a pinch of folly, a sprinkle of play, and a cupful of good humor.

found in a Pottery Barn categlog.

rejection

Rejections.
I have had dreams two nights in a row now about people rejecting me. And you know what? I think about it when I'm awake too.
Seriously, I do! and I feel that I am a confident, sure of myself gal. Even so, I want people to like me. I want to have lots of friends. I worry that I'm not happy enough, not friendly enough, not there enough for my friends and family. Maybe I don't smile enough, compliment others enough, ask enough questions. Maybe I should hug more, or send more cards. I just worry about it all! ugh!
What brought this up though? page 81 in A Love Worth Giving by Max Lucado. My friend Lindsay lent me this book almost a YEAR ago (I'm really sorry Linds!) and I read most of it last summer, and then put it down. It wasn't the right time for me. But I recently picked it up again, and I think it is the right time for me. And there are two sentences on page 81 that really caught my attention.
"You cannot keep people from rejecting you. But you can keep rejections from enraging you.".
It's true. I can't help what others think, or say, or feel. But I can help how I deal with these. I can choose to take these rejections and continue on my journey through life, or I can choose to let them change the path I am on. Change my journey. Turn my journey into something negative and sad. I can "let His acceptance compensate for their rejection". (page 81)
I'm still dealing with how I feel on the inside. But this was such a welcomed reminder that I have His love, His compassion, and His acceptance, and I need to stop worrying about what others in my life may think or feel about me. God is great!